How to Stop the “That’s Not Fair” Mentality

Have you ever said, “That’s not fair” or “That’s not right!” I recently caught myself saying these words and God convicted my heart that I had become too self-focused.

It’s so easy to do in this broken world we live in. Speaking of broken – that is why life will never be fair. We live in a broken world – full of sin. Fair will not occur on this side of heaven so how do you deal with the unfairness of life?

Easily, you let it go! Yep probably not the answer you wanted to hear but surrendering it to God is really the best answer. We aren’t God. We can’t understand his ways so our best response is a surrendered heart – with arms wide open.

Personally, it’s my control issues that want to surface when things aren’t going the way I think they should.

But I have to ask myself, “Who do I think I am?”

I didn’t create the universe or die for other’s sin! I’m not aware of God’s divine plan. No I’m just a sinner saved by grace who gets to practice loving other sinners saved by grace.

Another easy way to let go of the “It’s not fair syndrome” is to turn around and think about how blessed you are.

Is it fair that in parts of the world, people live without clean water or access to an education?

Is it fair that Jesus was brutally beaten and nailed on a cross to die a horrific death for you – for me?

No it’s not fair and again this is the world we created not God. His original design was perfection and union.

So instead of needing things to be fair in life let’s be grateful for the life we have in Christ Jesus.

The next time you find yourself saying the words, “That’s not fair” ask yourself these few questions to check in with yourself and shift your mindset.

  1. Is there anything in this situation that I can control?
  2. Is this person or situation trying to harm me personally?
  3. Is there anything I can do to change what is happening?

Most likely your answers to all these questions will be NO therefore your next action is to go to God ask forgiveness to clear off any negative feelings and give him thanks for all your blessings.

I will never understand why certain things happen in this life that don’t seem fair but I know that God has a plan. I trust his plan even though I won’t ever fully understand it. What we can know with assurance is God’s promise that he will never leave us or forsake us. Oh thank you Lord!!!

How do you deal with feelings of “That’s not fair?” Share on comments here or on social media posts.


Michelle D. Howe

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.